dosenherz:

there’s a letter waiting for you and my teeth hurt from holding all these words waiting (do you remember stuffing your cheeks with chewing gum balls; the way you didn’t know how to smile around the pain when they teased you and how you held on just to proof them a little longer)

or this: i tried to find a metaphor for you and how my tongue slips out of my mouth when i watch your hair curl around the explosions of a universe dying behind your eyes; the unbearable lightness of your angry heart was what i wrote but that would be a line for later and if i could hold you the way i hold my words, you’d be heavier than the small of your hands tells strangers, i am so sure of it;

and i can’t find the right form for my thoughts (you shrug off whispers clinging to your skirt like petals in April and rainshowers or rings); i want to say something, but when i open my mouth tender-hearted consonants become so

LOUD AND THEN JUST LOUDER and i have no idea how to wrap my voice around your ankles without tying you down; how to keep my lips close enough to your ears to paint my name in the shells when i watch the tiny hairs below your lips shiver; how to know how to do when i want to wade into your water until you’re draped around my thighs and my breasts and my throat until you feel me speaking in any other language but this or ours; until you’re not (as in mine) last lover but my home

AND SOMEONE FORGOT TO TELL ME AND LAST NIGHT I WOKE WITHOUT THE MEMORY OF YOUR HANDS AROUND MY NECK AND EVERYTHING WAS TOO HOT AND THEN COLD; A DULL ROARING KEPT THRUMMING IN MY BONES (i know you’re burning bridges behind your steps and i know i should be thankful to see you turning to watch my back; but what if all i want is to see you dancing?) and i knew you passed through.

(once ago there was a girl with KOHL PENCIL BLACK HAIR forcing line breaks through the cracks in her poems and we never met but she told me we’d be there in this life or another and i, black-rimmed eyes and hands opened for her or a prayer at 2.oo a.m.; i will wait for that.)